kindness

Oops. No devotional book today. I drove right past Dove Christian Supplies but ummm...I was in the wrong lane and there was a lot of traffic. Does that sound plausible? :) Another day!

Since January I have lost *drum roll* 20 pounds. Hallelujah (in English and whatever other languages you can think of!)! :) For the first 8 or 9 weeks I "worked with" a trainer. Meaning, he told me what to eat and how much to exercise and I paid him money to ignore what he said. :/ I did like having his voice in my head reminding me to exercise, but a couple of weeks ago when I told him about being sick (for 2 weeks) and not doing a lot of exercise or eating right as a result, he got a little snotty and all I could hear then was my dad's voice. And since my dad was an abusive shit, it wasn't well-received or appreciated. (I know, the trainer didn't know that, nor did I expect him to be enlightened) Needless to say, we are on a "break" and I have done quite well without him. :) Except for the consistent exercise. Here are my excuses :D 1-It's been windy. I don't do walking in Lethbridge Wind. 2-I've been busy. 2 jobs, need I say more? :) I do have a gym membership, I just haven't made the effort to go lately.

Anyway. I'm working on kindness to myself as I said before and not looking on everything I do in terms of losing weight as "torture." More like changing my perspective to embrace honouring the body God has given me. Health is an important issue for me and I STILL believe that God will heal my kidneys and I will have no more need of dialysis. Is that crazy? :) Ha. No, I guess that's faith! :) It's weird, but I really do believe it. But I also have this deep-rooted feeling that there has to be more health-wise stuff going on in my life--emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical. You know?

Day 1-ish of Be Kind

Today I cleaned out my fridge. I threw out rotten food, empty bottles, and a few things I was unsure of! I bought food I know for sure that I like and will eat: asparagus, mini-cucumbers, mushrooms, cara cara oranges.

This is Day 1 of working on eating foods I like that are also healthy. I don't much like fruit, but there are some I will eat. But I also want to try different kinds of fruit to see if there's more out there that I enjoy besides cara cara oranges, papaya, and persimmons. I am mildly allergic to all melons and for sure don't like kiwis.

I don't think my trainer's plan was harsh. He was working with what he knew. And he knows "5 meals a day rah rah rah." :) I don't work like that, nor did I really want to work like that beyond week...ohhhh....3? 4? Perhaps it's stubbornness, but I'm really coming to the conclusion that I have to look at food and eating and exercise NOT as torture to be happy. But give myself permission for kindness. This probably isn't making sense, but I'll be writing more on these lines in the future, so hopefully it'll get cleared up.

And thanks to Conan--who left his late night spot with the words "work hard. be kind." I like that philosophy. :)