connection

Usually when going about my day I watch people and eventually pick a "Favourite Person of the Day" because of something funny they're doing that makes me laugh. It's not someone I know, but someone I've observed.

Recently I was driving to the university, going up Bridge Dr. as per usual and I had on "Tempo" a classical show on CBC Radio 2. Playing was some pounding driving stunning orchestral piece that vibrated down to your soul. I pulled up to the lights at the top of the hill and looked in my rearview mirror to see some university student conducting his heart out to the music. I'm thinking we were listening to the same thing. But he won my "Favourite of the Day" award that day. :)

I've been cloistered inside the walls of work today since 3, so I haven't seen anything particularly unusual--at least for me. But I did walk onto the elevator at about 5:30 carrying 6 slurpees and instantly handed one tray to the woman standing on the elevator because the other 3 were about to fall out of my arms. Who says people never talk in elevators?? :)

This brings me to something that's been of interest to me lately: connecting with people. Smiling, saying hi, holding doors, etc etc. I think it's becoming more and more necessary and I'm finding that it's becoming more and more important for me to connect to others. It doesn't even have to be anything deep...just something to let people know that they are seen.

Can I get paid for doing that? Seriously...I am so out of the loop as to what I should be doing with my life. I hope to know by May 1st, because I need to pay rent! :)

Anyway, continuing on with the theme of connecting/connection...I think about my own relationships. I have different levels of relationships with different people--as do we all. I have pretty good family relationships, and I do have a family that rocks! I have a few really close male and female friends whom I love to bits. I have a few "testing the waters" friends, where we're in that whole "let's spend a little bit of time together to see how it goes" phase! Kind of like dating. :) But breaking up with friends is sooo hard. I've done it twice and I don't like doing it.

As for a deep personal relationship with some significant guy. Oh boy, kettle of worms! I haven't really been open to that, until lately. It's not that I've felt I've been missing out, or my life ALONE hasn't been unhealthy, but I've really been feeling that gentle nudge to start opening my heart. It's an interesting place to be in because I still feel like I'm trying to figure myself out as a whole person (emotional, physical, spiritual, mental) that making room for another person in my life seems...odd.

But it also seems to be happening.

And I'm not freaking out. Now THAT is interesting.
It will be interesting ;)